You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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