Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Be still, my beating vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
