When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
