did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just blew my weed a kiss
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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