Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
