If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
