you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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