He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
