do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
