somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
