I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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