His hands were made for my vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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