3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I deserve this hangover.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize