We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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