drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
