When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
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