There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
