Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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