You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
