I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
