im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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