I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
