Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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