And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
