Yo dont text me then not text me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
