We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
