I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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