Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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