You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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