She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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