she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
