two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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