How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
