About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize