Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize