dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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