I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
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i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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