btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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