It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
