everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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