Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to calm my uterus...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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