Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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