FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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