So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
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I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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