i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
