just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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