My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize