Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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