I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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