Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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