don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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