just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I believe in your delicious
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
