Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So here I am, sexting at work.
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