So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
