Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
