what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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