clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
